25 Ways to Meet Your Lover!

Meeting Singles, By Rob McLean

I assume you are not normally in a position to meet the opposite sex (who is???) and you don't do much about your situation. Meeting enough singles of the opposite sex to find the person you want involves a multi-faceted, proactive campaign. Your campaign makes you easy to find.

Just as you are proactive in your career, with your kids, and in other aspects of your life (or at least I suspect you are), you should also be proactive about finding a mate/lover!

How can men and women be proactive? By doing everything they can think of to meet a mate. I'm a big believer in lists. They keep you on track. There is something magic about writing a list, looking at it often, making notes about outcomes, and even revising or adding to that list.

I am offering you my list of proactive ways to meet people just to get you started thinking in the right direction. Join, join, join, then join something else!

1. Join non-profit social groups. You will be meeting new people and expanding your circle of potential mates/lovers.

2. Join church singles' groups. It is not hypocritical to join a church group for the purpose of meeting someone special. Most church singles groups exist to give you a way to meet someone who shares your faith and values. Of course, if your head is on a swivel during the 11 o'clock service, that is a different matter. A time and a place...

3. Join a reasonably-priced (under $1000 total) matchmaking or dating service. One word of warning: In my opinion, some matchmaking/dating services are more in the business of getting you to sign a long-term, very expensive contract than they are in connecting you to someone special. If a service will not willingly give you prices over the phone, move on to another service. There is no reason a service can not give you a price or a price range before they see or interview you. Matchmaker or dating service? Click here for a comparison. But the warning about dating services also applies to matchmaking services. Get prices over the phone or get another matchmaking service.

4. Join DinnerMatch. It is available whereever singles reside and is free to join. Singles are matched for age/race preferences plus interest commanalities, then 3-to-4 matched couples are invited to dine together in a nice, local restaurant. The next day, you go online to indicate which of those singles you would like to see again. If you both say "yes," DinnerMatch will give both of you the other's contact information. Check out DinnerMatch here.

5. Join special interest groups. If you enjoy mountain biking, join a mountain biking group. If you have a vegetarian diet, join a vegetarian group. If you enjoy the theater, join a theater group. There will be some singles for you to meet in almost any group you join.

6. Try speed dating, rapid date or Express Meet. Whatever you want to call it, if it is available in your area, this is a GREAT way to have 6 or 7 or more first dates at one time. General information about speed dating here.

Get out of your house! Go out, out, out! Hang where the opposite sex hangs. That's obvious but...

7. Go where some people gather. It does not have to be a club or singles bar. It can be the library, the park, the mall, even the movies. Meet a few eyes, smile, and say "hello." Don't limit your smiles to attractive people of the opposite-sex, however. Be friendly with everyone. Remember, you can be talking to a sweet, little old granny when her good-looking grandchild comes up and joins the conversation.

8. Volunteer. But volunteer where you find people interaction. Volunteering to staple the newsletter at home will help your favorite cause or charity. Going to a newsletter gathering where compatible people label, staple, and stamp the letter while interacting with each other works much better for your cause.

9. Walk your dog, cat, bird, ferret in the park or in a busy apartment complex.

10. Take your child to the park or the zoo or the PTA meeting. Look around; meet some eyes; smile; start a conversation. If you don't have a child, borrow one from your sister or brother.

11. Take classes that you think will attract the opposite sex. Continuing education classes are great. Take a cooking class, a computer class, a skydiving class, a drawing class, an archery class. Try to find classes that are at least two sessions long to increase your chances of talking to the person who catches your eye.

Make a list and work your list for meeting singles and finding protential mate/lovers.

12. Find some places where people eat out alone. They are available in any city of size. Go there to eat without keeping your head in a book the entire time.

13. Go to new places. Quit the places you have been frequenting. They are comfortable but they are obviously not working for you.

14. Go to free or relatively inexpensive dance lessons. County and western bars, square dance clubs, swing clubs, and private instructors offer dance classes that give you a great opportunity to mingle and meet. Dancing has immediate and long-lasting meeting opportunities. Many lessons are free. Others have nominal charges. Another word of warning: avoid the places that will not willingly give prices over the phone. They are probably more interested in having you sign that long-term and expensive contract than they are in teaching you to dance. My opinion, of course.

15. Whenever possible, go to places where people talk and get to know each other. People talk at happy hours, dinner groups, and dance lessons. They are relatively silent in movies, some types of performances such as ballet or theater, and church. They have a hard time hearing at concerts, clubs with loud music, and loud restaurants. It's harder to talk while walking or even running in a park than when touring a museum. However, it is easier to start a conversation in the museum. Remember, that you want to an opportunity to interact with people.

Do the personals: write profiles; write replies; join; write some more profiles!

16. Go online. It is an unfortunate fact that print ads are dead. It is also true that online ads have a few more problems than print ads. However, some online personals are monitored and all online personals, even with their problems, do allow people to meet.

17. Place ads in places that are free. Most places allow you to place a free ad so do it!!

18. Reply to ads. Yes, it often costs a nominal fee to reply but singles who reply to ads meet more people than singles who take the passive approach. Remember, this is about being proactive not saving $25 or $30 a month!!

Talk it up! Tell the world you are looking!

19. Tell your friends, co-workers, Aunt Minnie, and the pizza delivery person that you are looking; you want to be introduced to their single friends and relatives. This is another way to expand your circle of potential mates/lovers.

20. Don't be humble. Point out your good points and let people know why you they should introduce you to their friends and relatives.

Be an interesting person. Read, do, and think.

21. Don't be boring. It amazes me how many people want someone to jumpstart their lives for them. They are boring, boring, boring. I've heard many a single say that women don't want a good guy or men don't really like nice girls. This means that singles want to be around people who are interesting. "Bad" people are often interesting--they have a sense of passion and excitement about them. "Good" people are often boring. It does not have to be that way!!

22. Read and stay current on many, many things besides sports, movies, pets, and that adorable child of yours.

23. Do something different at least once a month. People who never try anything new are safe and they are boring!!

24. Expand your interests. Become an expert on something besides the remote control. Get involved. Get a passion. Passionate people are interesting!

25. Use your mind. Think about values, philosophies and issues of the day. Although we should all avoid political and religious discussions on the first few meetings, at least show that you understand both sides of an issue and that you are a thinking person.

Summary: Be easy to find.

It is absolutely true. Love finds the person who is easy to find.

You probably thought of some new ways to meet people as you were reading my list. Include everything on your list that you can imagine as ways to meet people.

Now number your list in the ways that are most comfortable or practical for you.

The rest is simple. Try numbers one, two and three simultaneously. Give them a few days or weeks, then try numbers four, five, and six simultaneously.

Personally, I try five or six new things each month while working on some of my problems--like becoming a more interesting person. (www.solosingles.com)